It's Not Easy Being Green

Instead of God’s still, small voice I wish I could hear Yoda sometimes. “Going the wrong way, you are! Turn back, you must!” I think my life would be much easier simply because the voice is so conspicuous. You can’t disobey Yoda! If you actually have the audacity to ignore his wisdom you run the risk of disappointing him. Can you imagine how deprived the world would be if Miss Piggy told Kermit to get lost? Never cross the green guy! I am convinced that little green guys have all the power. Well, almost all the power.

Several truths about myself have been revealed to me lately. One is that while I may think I don’t say much, quite the opposite is true and it’s time to embrace that fact. I am not the shy, voiceless child I once was. This is especially true if I happen to like you, even a little bit. Whether the words are written or spoken, I have the propensity to become like that annoying leaky faucet. No matter how many times you turn that handle, the drips are going to keep coming until you either fix the thing or find another room to hide in.

Another truth I have come to accept is that my words still have the power to be brutal. I honestly thought after so many years of growing and changing that I would be past this point in my life. Yet here I am again, apologizing for wounding another innocent victim. I have sought forgiveness and now it’s in God’s hands. The thing is I wish I could continue to lie to myself. I wish I could make myself believe that I don’t have the power to do such massive damage, that I’m not capable of the kind of carnage I have created. Yet I am once again on my face in repentance. Yes, I did it. I crossed the green guy.

“I’m sorry” is an empty sentiment when real damage has occurred. At some point all of us get sick of hearing it if the words are not backed up with action. While Jesus did say that we need to forgive our neighbor seventy times seven, he also told the woman caught in adultery to go and sin no more. Go and sin no more. Stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing to cause so much damage to yourself and others. Stop. Doing. It.

If my words are weapons, I am laying them down. I am throwing in the white towel and surrendering, offering myself freely to be judged or punished. I deserve death. While my debt has already been paid for by Jesus on the cross, I know I’ve got some unfinished business here. I am ready and I am not afraid. I will accept the consequences for my actions and I will move forward with the grace that God gave me. I will replace the broken washer on my leaky faucet mouth and learn from this. I will be better tomorrow. I promise.